200 Million Nematodes and Not a Drop of Rain.

There's a line you don't get to write everyday. No sooner have the flood waters receeded across New England when I find myself the proud owner of a quarter of a billion live microscopic nematodes whose job, if they choose to accept it, will be to burrow into my lawn and kill the Japanese Beetle Grubs living there. I don't know how they do this. The grubs look about like a popcorn shrimp, only disgusting, while 25 million nematodes come attached to something the size and thickness of a playing card. They probably kill using stealth and overwhelming numbers. And maybe numchucks.

The problem is that the conditions in which to apply nematodes to your lawn is just before or during a rain. Of course, it is clear, beautiful and dry as bone out here. So, since these little critters won't stay alive in their padded mailer for very long, I find myself in the unpopular position of wishing for rain for the Memorial Day Weekend. If it does in fact rain, New England, you have me to blame. I will, however, weather the scorn with the help of a couple hundred million grateful nematodes.